The things a parent can't think about....it's here

Every morning, it is an adventure to get my daughter ready for Kindergarten. She is strong willed, and very smart. Just like her daddy, she will always be one up with the mind games.

I convince her every day school is an "Awesome Place to Go!" and that if she wants to be a grown-up like Mommy and Daddy, she has to learn her sight words and numbers. I lead her to believe that this place I drop her off every day at, agaist her will.... is safe, a happy refuge for her.

Then Friday, December 14th happened. Every parent's worst nightmare, the one you don't let your brain even consider. Where do we go from here?

I used to watch tv shows and movies before kids without the "parent reflex". You know, the one where your eyes start to water, and you want to wake your kids and hug them. Before kids, I viewed entertainment where children were hurt or they died, without flinching. Now, it's pure torutue.

My husband jokes that I ruined him by having kids. Meaning, his once tough exterior is now cracked, open, and vulnerable...like a wound. It's true, as parents our souls are exposed, our children have run away with our hearts. Every day, that feeling of your stomach doing a flip-flop is guarunteed. Whether it happens when my son tries to knock over the Christmas Tree, or my daughter makes a trip to the ER for a blood blister on her toe.

But of couse, we wouldn't trade our kids for anything. Watching my son and daughter interact and create memories is the greatest gift my husband and I could give each other...and I pray that is where the parents in Newtown find solace. One victim's dad made a speech, and mentioned that he was "honored" to have been his daughter's daddy. How beautifully phrased....we always think our children are lucky, but maybe it is us that are lucky to have them in our lives.

My daughter stole my husband's heart from the moment she left my body to start her adventure as our baby. They locked eyes, and have been inseperable ever since....I am honored to be a part of creating that for my family. Giving ourselves the gift of each other.

Okay enough with touchy-feely portion of my post! Off to consume mass amounts of chocolate, and eat my feelings!

Hug your babies!!!!
G